teenagerworries:

anacondom:

bueno:

things i haven’t learned in high school

  • how to pay bills
  • how to buy a house
  • how to buy a car
  • how to apply for loans for college

but thank jesus i can graph a polynomial function

i can’t even do that right

a what

100 Questions (Send a number)- because a lovely follower asked nicely>.<

  • 1. Had sex?

  • 2. Bought condoms?

  • 3. Gotten pregnant?

  • 4. Failed a class?

  • 5. Kissed a boy?

  • 6. Kissed a girl?

  • 7. Used a little paper bag for lunch?

  • 8. Had a job?

  • 9. Slipped on ice?

  • 10. Missed the school bus?

  • 11. Left the house without my wallet?

  • 12. Bullied someone on the internet?

  • 13. Sexted?

  • 14. Had sex in public?

  • 15. Played on a sports team?

  • 16. Smoked weed?

  • 17. Smoked cigarettes?

  • 18. Smoked a cigar?

  • 19. Drank alcohol?

  • 20. Watched “The Breakfast Club”?

  • 21. Been overweight?

  • 22. Been underweight?

  • 23. Had an eating disorder?

  • 24. Been to a wedding?

  • 25. Made fun of someone for being fat?

  • 26. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

  • 27. Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

  • 28. Been late for work?

  • 29. Been late for school?

  • 30. Kissed in the rain?

  • 31. Showered with someone else?

  • 32. Failed my driver’s test?

  • 33. Ran a mile in less than 10 minutes?

  • 34. Been outside my home country?

  • 35. Been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?

  • 36. Had lice?

  • 37. Gotten my heart broken?

  • 38. Had a credit card?

  • 39. Been to a professional sports game?

  • 40. Broken a bone?

  • 41. Been unhappy about my weight?

  • 42. Won a trophy?

  • 43. Cut myself?

  • 44. Had an STD?

  • 45. Got engaged?

  • 46. Been on a diet?

  • 47. Tried out to be on a TV show?

  • 48. Rode in a taxi?

  • 49. Been to prom?

  • 50. Played a drinking game?

  • 51. Stayed up for 24 hours or more?

  • 52. Been to a concert?

  • 53. Had a three-some?

  • 54. Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

  • 55. Been in a car accident?

  • 56. Had braces?

  • 57. Learned another language?

  • 58. Killed an animal?

  • 59. Been at a yard sale?

  • 60. Been to a Japanese steakhouse?

  • 61. Wore make up?

  • 62. Talked to someone via webcam?

  • 63. Lost my virginity before I was 16?

  • 64. Had my wisdom teeth taken out?

  • 65. Kissed someone a different race than myself?

  • 66. Snuck out of the house?

  • 67. Bought porn?

  • 68. Had a virus on my computer?

  • 69. Had oral sex?

  • 70. Dyed my hair?

  • 71. Gone skinny dipping?

  • 72. Graduated from college?

  • 73. Wore someone else’s clothes? M

  • 74. Voted in a presidential election?

  • 75. Rode in an ambulance?

  • 76. Rode in a helicopter?

  • 77. Caught the stove on fire?

  • 78. Got in a verbal fight?

  • 79. Met someone famous?

  • 80. Been on vacation?

  • 81. Been on a boat?

  • 82. Been on an airplane?

  • 83. Broken something expensive?

  • 84. Had surgery?

  • 85. Kissed someone before I was 14?

  • 86. Beat a video game?

  • 87. Found something valuable on the ground?

  • 88. Made a survey?

  • 89. Stalked someone on a social network?

  • 90. Prank called someone?

  • 91. Spent over $100 shopping in one day?

  • 92. Been to a library outside of school?

  • 93. Cut my hair and hated it?

  • 94. Peed outside?

  • 95. Went fishing?

  • 96. Helped with charity?

  • 97. Taken a pregnancy test?

  • 98. Been rejected by a crush?

  • 99. Been suspended from school?

  • 100. Broken a mirror?

elf-of-mirkwood:

bobdeniros:

mystolendoctor:

deanvirginiawinchester:

askomnomwaffle:

kitchikishangout:

iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:

iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:

What did Hitler say when someone told him to call an ambulance for Churchill?

“Nein nein nein!”

I did nazi that coming!

Guys
Cut out with the Nazi jokes
It makes me führerious

These jokes are childish, Anne Frankly, not funny.

I NEARLY SPIT OUT MY GLASS OF JEWS

I see what jew did there

This is sort of out of mein kampfert zone..

put your name in my ask and i will tell you my favorite...

  • A:

    food

  • B:

    color

  • C:

    pattern

  • D:

    clothing item

  • E:

    dessert

  • F:

    flavor

  • G:

    scent

  • H:

    sport

  • I:

    blog

  • J:

    person on tumblr

  • k:

    movie

  • L:

    emotion

  • M:

    season

  • N:

    time of the day

  • O:

    store

  • P:

    names for girls

  • Q:

    quality in a person

  • R:

    names for boys

  • S:

    fruit

  • T:

    Vegetable

  • U:

    type of cake

  • V:

    word

  • w:

    car

  • x:

    place to visit

  • y:

    favorite place in your house

  • z:

    book

proud-atheist:

My dissertation was on Bible translations as part of my English degree - which made me step back and realise the lies I’d believed for years.
http://proud-atheist.tumblr.com

solemnlyswearimmadasaboxofcats:

i-said-adventure:

jakefails:

partridges:

thecakebar:

DIY S’mores Pie Pops {must click the link for recipe and FULL tutorial}

oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooood

Make this for me.

licks screen

 

akittensblog:

hannawolfcross:

theghostparty:

pondermoofin:

vaniirox:

#i feel so bad when any guy or girl tries to date his daughter #because you show up at their door and her dad is fuckin’ Thor

Look how badass he is while holding that baby

 #I can imagine him using his Thor voice on her #like when she’s crying in the middle of the night #WHAT IS WRONG DAUGHTER OF MINE#DO YOU REQUIRE NOURISHMENT#WHY DOTH YOU TORMENT ME SO PRECIOUS ONE 

But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?

TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?

I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.

WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER

IF HE BE WORTHY

SHALL POSSESS

THE BLESSING OF THOR

and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”

I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.

#ohohohohohohohrhioehehehheheh i followed you in my car to make sure you paid for her dinner hehehehehehehehe #i’ll literally come into your house and kill you if you break her heart #hehehehehehee

image

What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.

jesus christ it’s updated

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Rebloggin for the comments.

JFC Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.

I love you

ALL of you

this shit just keeps getting better!!!

Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.

And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”

“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”

“Oh my god, dad…”

“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”

“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”

And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”

“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”

“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”

“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”

“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”

“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”

“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”

“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”

“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”

“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”

“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”

“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”

“Dad…”

“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”

“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”

#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen

#he never calls her back

I’m sorry

but this just keeps getting better and better

EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS

OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying

It gets better every fucking time!

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I am CRYING oh my god

[[And there will be that one guy.

He won’t run or never call again.

He’ll sit there and play along.

“I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.”

It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]

I didn’t even think it was possible for this post to get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong. 

I swear it gets better and better every time!

(Source: sapfira23)